Bring Back The Love Of Your Life

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Have you heard it said, that everyone fights and that fightings and disagreements are part of a healthy marriage or relationship?

I am here to inform you that there are ways to have a healthy relationship without arguning and fighting. Just remember that it takes two to fight or argue. I know that you and your partner are not going to agree on everything. It is ok to expect that both of you will not always agree.

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But the following are ways that will help eliminate fighting and arguments that ruin relationships. Study them and apply them!!

1. Take time to talk about the good things with the relationship

To make your relationship work you should always treat each other like adults and listen to them. Point out the good things the other has done for you and thank them. Dwell on the good and always be willing to help when you partner needs help.  Sometime simply listening to them without judgement is all it take to help them.

2. During a discussion always focus on the details of the issue

Dwell only on the important elements of the issue. Sometimes we spent way to much time on the little things that do not matter. Always think about what you are going to bring up before you speak and make sure it is a positive point. Try and keep the negative elements out of the discussion. Only dwell on the positive points.

3. Listen to what is being said and think about your response before speaking

When you’re in the heat of an argument, you can become flustered and say things that you might not normally say. Realize that your partner is doing this as well, and that you want to focus on listening for the important stuff that they are saying, and dismissing things that may have been said out of anger.

4. Remain calm and maintain a peaceful attitude

When emotions are high and tempers are flared, it’s difficult to maintain your composure.  Keeping you voice low and calm naturally has a calming affect on any discussion and helps to keep the tempers under control. Remember to try and bring in a little peace into the discussion. This will help both of you to focus on the real issues in a more mature manner.

5. Build your partner up

Instead of hurting each other by the words you use try building each other up buy pointing out their good qualities. Hurting the other person is the wrong approach. Once again you want to talk about the issue at hand without assigning blame. Neither should you think they you are right and the other is wrong. Discuss the issue and keep the emotions out of the discussion. You want to come to a mutual agreement on the issue without blaming.

6. Thinks how your words will  make your partner feel before opening your mouth.

Instead of personally attacking your partner, take time to think about how you partner will feel and how you will feel when it is over. Instead of attacking, take time and think about the good things your partner has done for you. Dwell on them for a while before addressing your partner with the issue. A relationship matures on the good things that are done for each other.

7. Focus on a single problem at a time.

Like previously stated deal with a single issue at a time. Tying to talk about and deal with mutiple issues at the same time only leads to more comfusion. The best way to deal with the issue is to take a piece of paper and write down your issues on one side of the paper and your partners issues on the other side of the paper. Then start at the top of the paper and deal with each issue on both sides of the paper until they are all solved with a mutual agreement.

8. Listen by paying attention

During your discussions you and your partner need to listen to what the other is saying. One way to show you are listening is to repeat what the other said for clarification. Coming to agreement is a sure sign that both are listening to the other while dealing with the issue.

9. Hang in there until both of you are satisfied with the outcome of the discussion.

Stick it out. If you need time to yourself to collect your thoughts let your partner know. Take all the time you need because you alway want the outcome to be postive and you want to be satisfied with the outcome.

10. Show respect

When you want the argument to be a learning experience instead of a fight, you will want to show your respect of
the other person.  Pay attention, ask questions as needed, make eye contact, and be calm.  Together, you can work through whatever you are dealing with.

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